Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A recollection of thoughts of this semester

This is how I feel...I am very accepting that I am no longer an "A" student.  I have come to terms with this. I do my best and keep positive. I had my first panic attack this semester and I would wonder why my husband got the. Extreme stress is the answer. I have been taking one step at a time, but the load of information is so much. I know that I signed up for this. I did not think that it would take so much toll on me physically. Mentally, I knew the amount of work, but everything is connected as I am learning with the Humanbecoming theory.
This.....THIS.....THIS!!!! AHHHHH!
And to add that each test is only 50 questions LOL....just shoot me now
Yes, so when I have studied this whole semester...that image floats in my head.
Why, sure Ryan, please stay up and make me coffee. While you are at it, can you type my Humanbecoming process paper?

Coffee.Is.Best.Friend

I am really happy to be almost completed with this semester. I know next semester is a whole different ball game. I am not prepared yet, I want to enjoy my summer...but when you are in nursing school the professors own me and I better do what they say haha.




Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Can I change health care?

Ok..so this past week I ended up taking my husband to the emergency, AGAIN, for the three hundreth time. It is not three hundred, but it sure feels like it. He had the worst case of dizziness that I have ever seen. He vomited so much I wondered if his stomach would come up too. The poor guy. Within this trip, we ended up at the local county hospital. The emergency room is not my favorite place and would rather have the choice to be seen at an urgent care, but beggars can not be choosers. We are very fortunate to be poor and to be allowed to be given Medicare, as we do not plan to be "lifers" and we will use this is accordingly to its purpose.
I parked as close to the ER entrance as possible for my husband. I saw wheel chairs lined up and took one for my husband. Getting him in the chair was the easy part, having him seen by a physician was the extremely difficult part.
We were finally called back to be seen by a physician assistant. She sat down with him and asked him what was the problem. He told her his issues, right away she told him without looking in his ears, without touching him, she diagnosed him with vertigo. She then proceeded to tell us that there was nothing we could do for Benign proximal positional vertigo. We were told we had to wait it out. We then proceeded to the nurses station.
I am a first semester nursing student, so I am new to the whole "assume role as nurse". These people have passed the boards, these people have gone to school. They have done what I am doing currently. All these nurses just passed meds to my husband. When they were doing the "assessment" it was a poor excuse of an assessment. NO ONE LOOKED IN MY HUSBANDS EARS! Three sentences and health assessment done. My husband had already vomited four times after given meclizine and some other anti nausea mediation. He was not able to hold water in, and giving him pills orally was the best? Give me a break. Finally, a male nurse took my husband to an open room, looked at him asked how many times he vomited, and said, "I think we ought to give you a shot." In my head, "You think?" I had already stood my ground with the charge nurse who asked me repeatedly to leave and wait outside. HA! And leave my husband in your "care", I don't think so lady.
5 hours later
 The physician assistant comes in the room, and does what is called the Dix-Hall Pike Maneuver. She just wanted to make sure that it was vertigo. She confirms her diagnosis. She then tells us there is nothing we can do. We get prescriptions and are sent on our way to discharge.

After discharge, I did research on youtube. There are a few maneuvers to deal with vertigo, and I would have liked this literature upon discharge from the hospital. I know how to do them now and will make sure that patients that I am going to have in my care if diagnosed with BPPV do the maneuvers and do it properly.

This story, what does it have to do with Escape Fire? We were not the only people being seen in the ER at county hospital. There were a lot of people in there, who did not need to be there. Children with MILD cases of the flu, and the parents most likely were not aware of how to deal with it. These children were also the translators for their parents. There were a few broken bones, diabetes, and pregnant women.

Now, I understand that there are nurse to patient ratios, but what I know now is how many patients need to be seen to meet a quota for monetary gain. Money makes the world go round, but care is diminishing and the  general public is suffering. Since my husband and I did not receive any information about vertigo, I wonder who else is not getting the proper information as well.

Escape Fire, was about educating people. Educating these people who have certain diseases that in the course of managing the disease lifestyle changes need to be made. Diabetics need to eat certain foods, be aware of blood glucose levels, and keep their body weight in check. (upon other things as well.)

I also liked that it was strictly informational and there was no political side that was taken. Factual information is best, even when CNN is a highly liberal media channel.

Acupuncture is one amazing amenity that people do not use enough. My husband got into see one and there has been so many changes already. He also struggles with anxiety.My husband was able to relate to the  Marine that was shown. His dramatic change over the period of the episode was stunning. I know that there was a very intense and serious struggle with seeing death. His overall health improved. I love seeing that. God created the human body so intricately that, when allowed, can do amazing things.

I know that I have written a lot, but I feel as though I am going in the right direction as a future health care provider. I know how I want to treat my future clients/patients. Let's get the ball rolling for some better health care and overall quality of life!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

In the midst of craziness

Tuesday was a scary day for me. Waking up in the wee hours of 0200 was very eye opening. Finding my husband, Mike, in a pool of his own blood was not what I wanted to see.

I woke up at 0230, sprang out of bed because of the loud "THUD" that I heard. Walking out of my bedroom, I called out to my husband who was awake due to an uncomfortable pain. I called his name three times until I saw his body on the floor in the darkness.

I panicked only for a second. I shook him to alert him to consciousness. He sprang up like Old Glory. He didn't know where he was or who I was. I saw the black blood trickling down his face and the black pool that was on the carpet. I swiftly assisted him to the lounge part of our sectional couch. I sat him there. As I looked into his eyes, there was a blank slate. My husband was not there.

Those blue eyes that holds the key to lovers soul, he is not there. As I turn around and reach for my phone, he passes out for a second time. He slumped over like a limp noodle ,falls on the floor, landing on his head. This time I propped him up against the wall. I began to call 911. My hands start shaking. I am able to communicate with the dispatcher to get the fire department and paramedics. They notify me that they are on their way. I proceed to call my mother-in-law about the condition of her son.

I felt powerless and completely hopeless.

As the paramedics loaded my husband,  there were no thoughts in my mind. Nothing but helplessness that I felt for my husband.

I followed the ambulance very carefully and cautiously. I was concentrating on the EMT and the care that he was administering to my husband.

God is amazing how he handles these things. My husband where he fell in our apartment had a very high chance of hitting his head on our bookshelf and that would have broken his neck. My husband went home with MINOR contusions and scrapes. I feel that if the presence of God was not in my home, I fear the worst would have happened.

My point of this story is that prayer is powerful. God is mighty. He protects all things that are under his banner.

There was a Sunday school song, that the only part that I remember is that

"His banner over me is love."

God, I want to thank you for your mighty presence. While I can not see you, I know you are here. Thank You for Your love for us as human beings. Thank you for your protection. Thank You for the faithfulness of others for they have provided us with the prayers that You have heard in heaven.

All glory, honor and praise.

In Your name,

Amen.



Thursday, February 14, 2013

So I got the talking to...

Ok, so we all struggle with failure and let me tell you it has been on my mind 24/7. I kept thinking that I was not cut out for nursing school, and I have not even been in nursing school that long to even quit. But, those thoughts are heavy in my mind.

Yesterday, I was just convinced, mind you these are all lies from Satan himself, that after this semester I am going to just drop out of nursing school. HA! BIG FATTY LIE!

As I am listening to this loud obnoxious lying voice, I cry out to God. This is the extent of our conversation.


Me: "God, am I cut out for this? I have worked so hard to get here and I just feel defeated in everything I do. I feel I am not going to give the patient the care that her/she needs. What is my purpose? What is my calling? Why am I here? I feel like I am drowning. I just want to quit. I CAN'T DO THIS!!
----------By this time I have tears in my eyes. I am standing in the middle of my tiny apartment kitchen, cooking red potatoes for dinner and having what I thought just a one way conversation with God.

I heard God in the tiny voice possible, but loud enough to drown out all the fears, lies, and manipulations of the devil.

God said:
I did not create you to be stagnant. I created you with purpose.

Jeremiah 33:3
"Call to me and I will answer you with great and unsearchable things you do not know."


Phillipians 4:13
"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me."


I am living my purpose. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. That's why I feel so defeated. Satan is coming at me full force. It has taken me 10 years to find the path where God wants me to go.
I am growing. Growing HURTS...
I felt and still feel completely humbled. Who am I to quit? Who am I to stop doing what God wants me to do?
God is the center of this journey. I can not loose sight of that. I am His hands and reaching out to people who need love and healing the most. Love is what ties everything together. That is why God spoke to me, he reprimanded me. He did that out love.





Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Crazy dreams lately..

Now since nursing school started, I have been  having some really intense dreams.
My dream was in color and very graphic. I think the news of my best friend being pregnant, and the last post that I read on Facebook was my sister's, is how my dream started.

It was more nightmare and more of some thing that would be in a horror show.

I was in the middle of my parent's house, and my mom and I were arguing because my sister was pregnant. My mom was calling my little sister various not nice names, if you get my drift. I was standing up for my sister .and her word that she did not in fact sleep with anyone and her pregnancy was miraculous. With that being said, within minutes her belly starts to protrude and become bruised and very gangrenous looking. She looks very ill, almost like she is on the verge of death, and slices her side open. There is blood every where and this creature crawls out. It looks like a 5 year old boy, pale skin, and black eyes. His lips have a very red and black tinge to them. His eyes are so dark and eerie, it sends chills up my spine. He mumbled words that put me down. Then, he fades away in the walls of the house. Its like the house engulfs him, and he is present but can not be seen.

I woke up this morning at 4:32am. I had to wake my husband up. I was so scared. What is the meaning of this dream.

It has occurred to me that I have a spirit of fear. I am really afraid of failing nursing school. I am NOT to live in a spirit of fear, but be COURAGEOUS and PERSEVERE.


Yea, that kid's face explains it all! 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I love memes ZOMGOODENESS!

Ok, so I am absolutely obsessed with memes. Cat memes, Walking Dead memes, etc I could totally get lost in memes..so I am going to post a few of my favorites because they make me laugh.

LIEUTENANT DAN.....ICE CREAM!




This is how my cats act towards me.^^






Hope you all have enjoyed my memes...I think after my test on Tuesday...its going to be depressing memes. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

Time? Management? What?!

As a first semester nursing student, I do have to say I have a time management problem. I have never had a problem before and I have just been able to cope with my "disability". In the past, I have been able to just cram for exams, pull those all-nighters, and do just fine.
 Nursing school is a whole different animal. This one will bite back. The amount of information that I am learning is so intense that I have to sit down, read, and ask myself comprehensive questions. With that being said, controlling my procrastination and eliminating my bad habits is not going to come easy. I have been able to cut down on Facebook and Instagram. I am an avid social networker, and I do like having that line with the outside world. But when the line to the world takes 2 hours of my time, its an issue. I have been reading a book, on top of my mountains of other reading. The book is a supplemental book that Dr. Drummond had recommended. Nursing School Success by Wilfong, Szolis and Haus. These women are RNs and they understand the importance of time management. They themselves have been through the same struggles.
In Chapter 2 Organization and Time management skill they say this:

  • The first step in developing a time management program is to know yourself. Identify how you actually spend your time.
  • Effective time management includes finding a balance between time allotted for required tasks and leisure activities(Wilfong, Szolis,& Haus, 2007, p.8).
The video below is me.




Now that I have identified myself, what am I going to do next? What is my plan of implementation?
I have a calendar that I have written down all important due dates, tests, quizzes, etc. I have also made myself a daily schedule that is set in time form. I am a very visual person. So, making and seeing a schedule is very important to me. I am very routine oriented. I know when I have a plan, I usually stick to the plan.

I am constantly learning what I am capable of, what works and does not work. I have made it this far, not its time for me to get managing my life.



References:
 Wifong, D., Szolis, C., &Haus, C., (2007). Nursing School Success. Sudbury, MA: dj.