So I got the talking to...

Ok, so we all struggle with failure and let me tell you it has been on my mind 24/7. I kept thinking that I was not cut out for nursing school, and I have not even been in nursing school that long to even quit. But, those thoughts are heavy in my mind.

Yesterday, I was just convinced, mind you these are all lies from Satan himself, that after this semester I am going to just drop out of nursing school. HA! BIG FATTY LIE!

As I am listening to this loud obnoxious lying voice, I cry out to God. This is the extent of our conversation.


Me: "God, am I cut out for this? I have worked so hard to get here and I just feel defeated in everything I do. I feel I am not going to give the patient the care that her/she needs. What is my purpose? What is my calling? Why am I here? I feel like I am drowning. I just want to quit. I CAN'T DO THIS!!
----------By this time I have tears in my eyes. I am standing in the middle of my tiny apartment kitchen, cooking red potatoes for dinner and having what I thought just a one way conversation with God.

I heard God in the tiny voice possible, but loud enough to drown out all the fears, lies, and manipulations of the devil.

God said:
I did not create you to be stagnant. I created you with purpose.

Jeremiah 33:3
"Call to me and I will answer you with great and unsearchable things you do not know."


Phillipians 4:13
"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me."


I am living my purpose. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. That's why I feel so defeated. Satan is coming at me full force. It has taken me 10 years to find the path where God wants me to go.
I am growing. Growing HURTS...
I felt and still feel completely humbled. Who am I to quit? Who am I to stop doing what God wants me to do?
God is the center of this journey. I can not loose sight of that. I am His hands and reaching out to people who need love and healing the most. Love is what ties everything together. That is why God spoke to me, he reprimanded me. He did that out love.